11 hours and 36 minutes, 5400 miles, 4 pilots and 12 flight attendants later...

I arrived to Japan. I started to feel sick in the San Fran airport but thought it was just nerves. I was lucky and got the whole row to myself and was able to stretch out the whole time. I tried to sleep the whole flight but I was so sick. Everytime I would lift my head up I felt like I was going to puke. Finally after about 6 hours, I went to the bathroom and puked my guts out. I have never thrown up in an airplane bathroom before, it sucks. After that I didn't feel much better. 

I haven't really eaten since Sunday night. Whose idea was it to get crappy mexican food as my last meal the night before I leave for an 11 hour flight anyways? Oh wait, it was mine. Bad idea. Upon arriving in Osaka I found some other students who were on my flight and clinged to them because I felt so lost and out of place. All three of them had been to Japan before, are Japanese language majors, 20 years old and were shocked to discover that I was 29 and didn't speak a word of Japanese. I had a feeling I was going to be the oldest person here. I haven't met everyone yet so there's hope that I'm not going to the grandma of the bunch. 

One of the guys was here last term and just went back home for winter break so I was able to ask him a lot of questions about the school and life in Japan. It made me feel a little better but then I arrived at my dorm and I felt like I was going to puke again. It's so hard to explain what it feels like to be here. I was so upset last night all alone in my room, all I wanted to do was take a taxi to the airport and come home. I'm serious, I thought about it. Everyone I have met so far seems super nice and helpful but I can't help but feel like an outsider. All of the international students know at least 2 years of Japanese and are able to communicate with people and I just stand there repeating that I don't speak Japanese like a jackass. 

When I applied to go to this school my advisor told me that I was a wild card because I didn't speak any Japanese but I am a Japanese history major so they might accept me because of the fact that I want to be a teacher and why not have me come here to study their history so I can teach it to other people. She kind of made it seem like it was a long shot but I had excellent letters of recommendations and good grades so they accepted me. I am thankful but right now I feel like maybe they shouldn't have. I know these doubts will pass after I get adjusted but right now I just feel so unsure. I know that I am a strong person and all but right now I don't feel like I am. Hopefully these feelings subside soon. 4 months seems like a long time right now. I'm definitely homesick. Maybe the next time I post I will feel a lot better. 

Oh yeah I need to touch on the time change. It's crazy. I left Portland on Monday at 7:26 a.m got to San Fran at 9 ish and left there at 11:30 a.m. and then arrived in Osaka Tuesday at 4:35 p.m. It's so weird. I have my watch set to Japan time and my phone, which doesn't work here, set to Portland time, it's such a trip looking at the difference. All night last night I kept waking up and looking to see what time it was in Portland. This experience is blowing my mind so far. I have never done anything like this nor will I probably ever again. I left my comfort zone and my heart in Portland.