The Final Countdown

I come home in two weeks and I can't wait. It's crazy how fast the time has gone by. I haven't been posting lately partly because I have been busy with school work but also because I have been lazy. Right before I left Portland  I got the idea of starting this blog because I thought that it would be easier to post updates on how I was doing for everyone to read rather than me emailing fifty people. Somehow, this blog has become somewhat of a journal, sometimes personal, introspective--an overall outlet for me. In some ways, this blog has saved my ass here because a lot of the times it was the only outlet I had seeing that I haven't had much of a social life here. Yes, believe it. Ms. Social Butterfly, Life of the Party has had no social life in Japan.

When I was younger I wanted to be a writer. Growing up in an unstable and somewhat chaotic household, writing became a way for me to escape the craziness. I always excelled in writing in school however when it was pointed out by others that I did well, I felt that it inhibited me because writing became about doing it for a better grade or about trying to impress my teacher rather than doing it because it was something that I was passionate about. So I quit and lost one of my only creative outlets. This was around junior high. I always wonder what would've happened if I would've kept at it. Throughout the years, I would pick it up here and there but it would never go anywhere.

I just wish I could've realized that I could've kept writing, even if it was just in a journal. No one would ever have to read it and there would be no grade, no pressure. I was a bit reluctant to start again but really it kind of came out of nowhere. Like I said, I didn't plan on this blog being what it is. I know that my posts tend to be long, sometimes whiny or just plain boring and this has probably lost me some readers. However, I don't care if anyone reads it. I appreciate those of you that do but really this blog started out as something for you but has turned into something for me. I had no idea how much I missed it and really how much I need it. It's a part of me that I have let go for too long and keeping this blog has inspired to pick it up again. I think I will keep this going even after I return to Portland.