After the rain, the ground hardens

Well, after a really bad week of being temporarily disabled, feeling sorry for myself, being discriminated because I was in a wheelchair and just overall very unhappy with my situation, things are starting to look up. I had a check-up with my doctor on Friday where he took another x-ray. Everything looked normal and he said I was healing remarkably. I decided that I was over being pushed around in a wheelchair and made it my personal goal to get out of it as soon as possible. I stayed in all weekend, writing three papers, seriously I didn't leave the house at all until Sunday night when I attempted to buy a bottle of wine from the corner market but sadly they were closed. I kept my foot elevated and iced and I slept a lot. 

By Sunday the swelling had went down and I could actually put weight on my foot. So yesterday I decided I was going to ditch the wheelchair and use the crutches, not like you're supposed to use them but rather as a way to hold me up and keep me balanced. I put some weight on the foot and some on the crutches and was able to get to, around and from school yesterday. My foot ached a little last night but today it looks and feels the best its felt since the injury. I can even sort of put my shoe on, just not all the way. Hopefully I will be fully recovered by next week.

I was thinking about how we all endure trials and tribulations in life, no one is from exempt from them and some experiences are worse than others. We have a choice when faced with these tests-- we can either pick ourselves up and try again or we can give up. Although giving  up is so much easier than trying, I have always been up for the challenge to make it back from the bottom up. It's not always easy and there may be a pity party here and there but in the end I somehow always make it back. I don't know why I have this driving force or even where it comes from but I am glad I have it because if I didn't I would've given up on life a long time ago. 

These past two months have been really hard but they have given me insight about my life and the people in it. I feel stronger and wiser and you're never going to believe this but I actually have figured out how to relax. I've never been a mellow or relaxed person, in fact, I thought it was impossible because I have always been on level 10. However, being here away from everything and everyone has made me realize something about myself, I am the only who holds me back and I am the only one who can change it. I have always known that but never really believed it until now. For so many years I just accepted that I was high strung and a stress case feeling that it was just how I was and there was nothing anyone could do to about it. I  just accepted  it. I hated always being that way. I have always been the type of person who stresses about things that I had no control over, yet I would let them consume me. After 29 years, it was getting old. I don't know why being here has helped me work through so much but it has. This may be a too bit introspective for you all but I wanted to share it with you. I just feel like I have made so much progress within myself since I have been here. 

On the really hard days where I feel like giving up and coming home, I remind myself of this Japanese proverb, "After the rain, the ground hardens. After a storm things will stand on more solid ground than they did before." Adversity builds character. Life isn't always easy but it's what I live for. It has and always will be what I am the most passionate about. Living life without fear, regret or inhibitions. When life gives me lemons, I don't make lemonade rather I make a delicious margarita on the rocks with salt.