Come fly the friendly skies with us! I'd rather not.

For as long as I can remember I have had a fear of flying. I hate every aspect of flying except for the mere fact that it's convenient. I know they say that flying is the safest way to travel but I don't give a shit. I would much rather die in a head on collision than die in a plane crash. Why you ask? Well, if you insist I will tell you. 

If I am cruising down the street in my '64 and I get an accident and die, whether it be instantly or not, for the most part I won't see it coming and if I do it will be over in a second. If I am in a plane, or as I like to refer to it, a metal tube with fake air that shouldn't exist but does cos it's the fastest way to travel, and we start to have engine trouble or hit a flock of geese or lose power or whatever else could possibly go wrong, there will most likely be a moment of a few seconds or more, where I know that my life is about to end, tragically and painfully. Man, was that a long sentence. Anyways, the idea of knowing of my inevitable demise does not appeal to me. I hate the idea of death because I hate the fact that I will miss out on tomorrow. 

I accept death as a fact of life but I have a hard time that it's going eventually, and maybe too soon, take the lives of people I love and mine as well.I don't know want to know that I am about to die at all. The idea of my plane plummeting to the earth going 500 miles an hour is a shitty thought yet this is all I can think about when I fly. I have anxiety and bad dreams weeks leading up to my departure and when I say goodbye to people, in my head I'm thinking it's goodbye forever because my plane is definitely going to crash this time. I know, I am a freak but I can't get past it. In the past 6 months there have been a handful of plane crashes. There was the one with Travis Barker, the Hudson, the one in Brazil yesterday and now one in Puerto Rico and I know I am forgetting a few more.

 On my way to Japan, I was so sick with nerves that I couldn't take the anxiety medicine my doctor gave me for my 12 hour flight across the Pacific ocean. It sucked but I felt so sick that I kept thinking I didn't care if we crashed. Everything about flying sucks. Boarding cos you have to wait for everyone to try and fit their over sized luggage in the overhead bins,as you stand in the aisle cursing them in your head for not checking their shit and knowing damn well that it didn't fit in the little "your luggage must fit in here" thing they have at the check in. Taking off  sucks because it just seems impossible that something that heavy can just lift off the ground. 

Flying in the air sucks because you're breathing shitty recycled air, getting ripped off on drink prices, getting crappy pretzels cos they got too cheap for peanuts, using the smelly bathroom, getting hit from behind by the dumb annoying kid whose parents should have never had children cos they don't know how to discipline them, having the person take up what little space you have by leaning their seat back...just to name a few. Oh yeah and seat-belts? Are ya kidding me? Like those are going to do anything if we crash! They don't even provide seat-belts on public transportation where if I did get an accident a seat-belt would actually help but you better buckle up when the captain puts on the seat-belt sign or else! Use the bottom of your seat cushion for a flotation device? Really? Really, like you're serious? 

Landing sucks. Exiting the plane is the worse, waiting for everyone to get their shit together takes forever, they turn off the crap air and it becomes all muggy and suffocating. Geezus! I read somewhere that they have therapy for people with a severe fear of flying and I'm thinking I should check into it cos it makes me crazy, as you can tell from this tangent. The point of this was because of the plane crashes lately it has only heightened my fear of flying and I am not looking forward to my flight back home in May and I hope that I am not sick again cos although I hate taking pills of any sort for any reason,  I will be popping about five on the flight home. Since the price of flying is highway robbery, they should include an open bar that is free, free xanax and for those of you who don't do either they should provide you with a non-stop flow of oxygen or laughing gas to calm you and me the hell down. Thank you and goodnight!