Konnichiwa.

As you can probably tell, I am having a hard time adjusting here. I have good and bad days and I am trying to make this experience an amazing one. But still, it's hard. I appreciate the support, encouragement and all that jazz but I don't think most of you can even wrap your mind around what's it like being here alone. 

I'm a social gal. I can walk into any place and by the time I leave have made friends with everyone in the room. I'm the life of the party often and love to entertain my friends and innocent bystanders. People have always joked that no matter where we go I will end up knowing someone I know. It's just how I am, I'm very outgoing and crazy, in a good way. I love who I am and wouldn't trade me in for nothing. Being here though, I have become more of an observer, a bit timid and even shy sometimes. I know it may be hard to believe but it's true. In some ways I hate it and in other ways I am enjoying taking a back seat. My time here so far has been real reflective and I have already learned somethings about myself. The  main purpose of this trip is my education but it's also a personal journey. I hope to gain a better understanding of the world by being in a completely different culture. I also hope to grow as a person and come back wiser and stronger. I feel that I am being tested right now and I refuse to give up. 

My heart aches to be back in Portland and that seems to be distracting the shit out of me here. I need to find some balance, which is something I don't like about myself. I'm either all or nothing, never in the middle, always on this side of the fence or that one. This is great for some aspects of life but in the bigger picture it's not a great way to be all the time. I had no idea this blog was going to be so introspective. I wanted it to just be a way to update everyone all at once but now it's become a lot more personal that I had planned or wanted but I can't help it. Somebody send me some freaking mail already! I have been here three weeks and it has gone by really fast. March will be filled with visitors from home and I can't freaking wait to see all of their faces. Something to look forward too...