Ohoyaoo Goizamasu (Good Morning!)

Well, last week was pretty bad for me as far as adjusting to life here. I realize now that I am the only person who can make this a positive/negative experience. I think I was getting way too emotional about being homesick. I'm ruled by my heart so being away from everything I love really took its toll on me. I had a reflective weekend and feel like I am back on track and done being a baby. 

Japan is such a crazy place. I could try and describe it to you till the cows come home or show you through pictures but really none of it does this place justice. I every time I step out of my place my mind gets blown away by something. I love that because I like seeing new things and no matter how much I miss home, I'm used to everything there and don't get to see new and exciting things that often. I know my neighborhoods and my peeps, I know what to expect when I take the bus downtown, I know who I'll see on any given night when I walk into my place of employment/favorite bar. I'm not saying life is boring in Portland cos it's not, it rules but I guess in some ways that's why this whole experience has been hard so far, my comfort is completely gone. 

Then again, comfort can be a bad thing. I hate getting in ruts and shitty routines and comfort is usually the cause of those plagues. That's why I left Vegas. I was too comfortable in a place that I despised but would never leave because I liked the familiarity of it all. On a whim one day I drove to the airport and bought a one way ticket to Portland. The ticket agent asked me when I wanted to go and I just threw my finger on the calendar and it randomly landed on June 17th. Sounds good to me. Leaving Las Vegas was hard but I felt that if I didn't do it the way I did, then maybe I never would have gotten out of there. I was scared and lonely when I first moved to Portland for the some of the same reasons I am here. But I knew I was doing the right thing and before I knew it, I had found my way  in Portland, even though getting to that point was at times brutal, I had finally made it.

 That's how I feel here. I'll make it and I'll love it. I have already been here for three weeks and time is flying. I love all my history classes, adore my teachers and like my roommates. I love learning about Japanese history and culture. I would love learning the language more if it wasn't so hard but it'll all work itself out. I feel refreshed and overall just happy to be here.